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If your gag reflex is strong, then you will not be able to take your husband’s penis as deep into your mouth or you will have to go slower and/or you will not be able to swallow when he ejaculates.
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“Okay, Julie, even if I can accept that oral sex is okay in God’s eyes, I’ve got all these other hurdles to get past.” What if I have a strong gag reflex? God has not arbitrarily drawn a line anywhere on our spouse’s body to indicate where sexual pleasure with our mouth is off limits. So why would using our mouth to sexually bless our spouse’s genitals be any different? And those touches (just to name a few) are arousing. A husband longs to kiss his wife’s breasts a wife longs to be aroused this way. We intuitively know that sexual passion affords us the freedom to kiss our spouse’s neck or their hand or their chest. You would be hard pressed to find any married couple who thinks the only appropriate way to kiss is face to face with our mouths and lips. I am my lover’s and my lover is mine he browses among the lilies.” Song of Songs 6:2-3įor a moment let’s put the interpretation debate aside and rely instead on good ol common sense. “My lover has gone down to his garden, to the beds of spices, to browse in the gardens and to gather lilies. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey I have drunk my wine and my milk.” Song of Songs 5:1 “I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.” Song of Songs 4:16 “Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden that its fragrance may spread abroad. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.” Song of Songs 2:3 “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. The words “sex” and “oral sex” don’t appear in the book of Song of Songs. The challenge, of course, is that it is told primarily in allegory and metaphor. This poetic book gives us great imagery of passionate sexual love between a husband and wife. I can help you.įrom a biblical standpoint, many theologians (and average everyday Christians) agree with the interpretation of Song of Songs in the Old Testament. If you are a wife who wants to bless your husband with oral pleasure and - dare I say - get to the point you love it, then stick with me sister. My heart is always to challenge people where they may be sabotaging intimacy. Someone in the marriage has selfishly dismissed it without genuinely thinking through that decision (or the impact it has on their spouse). My experience has been, though, that the exclusion of oral sex is rarely a mutual decision. I also recognize that some couples have mutually agreed to not include oral sex in their sexual intimacy, and I respect this choice. If you are steadfast against giving oral sex to your husband, I am not sure if anything I write here is going to sway your opinion the other direction.
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“I don’t know how to give oral sex right.” “I don’t think it’s a Christian thing to do.” “Oral sex is something I did before I was married, and now I feel guilty doing it.” “I associate it with promiscuous behavior.” The reasons can vary, but suffice to say, most reasons would fall into at least one of the below categories: I know there are many wives out there who have never given oral sex to their husband, or if they have, they do not enjoy it.
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To this day, she is a confidante who I know will always be up for a transparent and authentic conversation about sexual struggles and sexual joys.Īt our first lunch together, we eventually came upon the topic of oral sex, to which I said, “Who doesn’t love oral sex?!” She looked at me quizzically and asked, “Giving or receiving?” To say she and I had great ease in talking about sex in our marriages would be an understatement. Years ago, I was having lunch with a woman who would eventually become one of my closest friends.Īt the time of our lunch all those years ago, we were new colleagues, and we soon discovered we had a plethora of things in common - our love of sex being one of them.